Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
