Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
