i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
