she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
should my penis look like a turkey
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Randomize