Well douche your snatch and let's go!
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
there is glitter all over my balls
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