Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
