So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
