One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
