he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
