Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I stole a fireplace last night.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
