on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
