i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
