Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
my poor anus
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize