watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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