GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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