My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
