STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
