Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
