So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Woke up backwards on a recliner
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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