i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
