just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Randomize
