that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
