I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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