Can i not drive my cunt home
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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