I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
