plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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