You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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