Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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