if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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