well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
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