I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
