I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
