Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
how drunk are you?
Several
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
