covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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