D3 body, D1 cock
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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