Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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