32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
