every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
