just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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