New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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