HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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