You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Yo dont text me then not text me
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
