i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
