youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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