bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
