i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
