I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
