kristin has been a bad kristin
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Two words: nipple clamps
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