I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
foreskin is a definite game changer
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
