Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize