Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
