Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
