she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
