Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
