More tranny stories later!
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
that's an acceptable place to lick
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
