im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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