I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
