Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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