Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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