My friends, they love my intelligence
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
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