I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
