i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Randomize
