This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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