OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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