OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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