I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Sober January is a disaster.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
