Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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